Is it a common occurrence? Thankfully the answer to that is no. But there is no getting around the fact that it happens. One all too clear example comes from TVNZ out of New Zealand:"A 41-year-old man has appeared in the Hamilton District Court on a variety of charges after a woman complained she was assaulted in her home early on Saturday morning. The man and woman met over the internet in November."
Even though it's the kind of thing that can occur anywhere or anytime regardless of the source, it is incidents like this that cause many singles to avoid online dating altogether.
The funny part is internet dating is in a period of incredible growth as well as profits. All of this comes against the backdrop of a global recession. Everybody is feeling it except the online dating industry which is quickly closing in on becoming a billion dollar a year business.
But with it comes the unsavory. The con artist is a given. Anything that makes money will attract scammers. It's the other ones. People like the man in New Zealand who are operating on a much darker plane. While this incident is by no means a major setback to the industry as a whole it can sway the opinion of many singles who are still undecided on whether to give online dating a chance.
The internet has allowed many people to hide behind the anonymous curtain. But if you have been thinking about giving it a try, then don't let these types of stories discourage you. You can enjoy meeting possible romance partners or online friends as long as you keep personal safety near the top of your list.
While everyone is at risk, it is of particular importance that women more than anyone else take those extra steps to ensure their personal safety. Too often the news is filled with stories of tragic online-offline dating encounters with the preponderance of victims being women.
A few things to keep in mind:
1. Where?
The answer to that question should be someplace public. Make a point also to not rely on them for transportation. For that matter do not let them talk you into being the chauffeur for the evening. Each of you should have a way to get wherever you're going and back without the need to rely on the other person.
2. Not There Yet
Yes the instant message and conversations in the online chat room were wonderful. You've talked to such great lengths that you cannot help but feel you know this person.
You don't. Online dating is a process of getting to know someone but the purpose of online dating is to see if you can take it offline. No matter what happened in cyberspace there is nothing that takes the place of face to face contact. For one thing while online dating is a great way to connect it is not a good indicator of what type of vibes this person normally sends out. All you have to go one it what is written on a computer screen. The words may be everything you want to hear but what is the thought behind them? Keep that in mind when meeting someone in the real world for the first time.
3. Senses Taking
You should naturally make a conscious effort to get to know your date but also be in tuned to what your instincts are saying. Are they picking up any signals that just don't fully jibe with what was said in cyberspace? What are they gathering from your dates appearance or barely noticeable mannerism which could mean a lot? Make your intuition an active partner when assessing your date. If you need to talk to them first before making a date see if you can do it from a phone other than your home or cell.
4. WebCam
It's not widespread enough but it could become a major tool and powerful safety precaution. You could also insist that anyone you contact also have one. In the short run it may cut down your amount of prospects but considering the millions of online dating prospects to choose from the results will be negligible. On the other hand it can be a great help in decreasing your risk factor.
The reality is that unpleasant events like the one in New Zealand are going to happen; online or off. But in spite of it, online dating is set to really take off in the near future. There are many successful stories of people meeting that special someone and that number is only going to grow. There is no reason why you cannot be one of those successes as long as you make your personal safety a top priority.
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