Dating Website Activity after a First Date

Posted on May 21st, 2012 by Brad under: dating advice

What is the etiquette for logging into a dating site after a first date? Should I be upset if I see someone logging into a dating site after our date? Alternately, is it impolite for me to log into a dating site after a first date that I’ve gone on?

I see this question most often from the angle of: “We had a great first date but I saw that he/she was active on Match yesterday so I guess they aren’t interested”.

Sometimes I’m contacted after the person has exploded in an email or phone call to the person they met, normally something along the lines of letting the person know they won’t be “played”.

On the other hand, I’ve also talked to people coming from this angle:

Since Match displays how active a person has been over the last 24hrs, online now, etc., when is it appropriate to log on after you have been on a really good date? I don’t want to seem like I’m not satisfied with him but right now it was just one date. However, going online right after the date didn’t seem right to me. When is the “safe” time to continue looking?

So when is the right time to go back online? And how much should we read into someone we met going back online?

Note: if you are in a committed relationship but are still seeing online activity from the person you are dating, you would want to see this article instead.

Differences Between Traditional Dating and Online Dating

First, I think it’s important to point out a difference between traditional dating and online dating

With traditional dating, after a date it would generally be considered impolite to pursue other people to date immediately. If a man went on a date with one woman and then a day or two later went on a date with a second woman without contacting the first, some would consider him a “player”.

Many people feel that traditional dating should follow a pattern of meeting someone, giving them all your attention, then ending it or taking the relationship to more serious territory. Obviously not everyone feels this way, but many do.

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Recovering from a Breakup - Breakup tips

I think it's important to remember that breaking up is usually harder than forming a relationship, so look before you leap...

It's quire concerning how women struggle with the thought of moving past a break up. With the hundreds of alternatives to go by, to move on after a break up would be as simple as moving up a grade. To forget your ex boyfriend, first you have to focus, then you utilize your resources and lastly, you don't give up.

1. Focus. The reason why some kids don't push through their studies is because they lose control of themselves. It is the same thing when moving on from a break up. You should keep your eye on the prize and work for it. Let go of any doubt or regret over things that you could have done and just keep your mind locked on the future. Establish a goal and aim for it through the next step.

2. Utilize your resources. You had things going for you even before you and your ex got together. So you'd be fine living without him now. You do not need him to survive nor to be happy. There are a number of other entertainment sources for you. It's like when you face the challenge of finishing school, you have to hit your books and take notes. You can take on a tutor and engage in a few extra curricular activities for additional credit. It's a similar thing for your life. Acquire guidance from family and friends. Find more helpful references on how to get over your ex boyfriend. If you are easily discouraged in pursuing it, take a break until you get your footing back. And of course, you have to diversify and broaden your exposure so you do not get bored easily.

3. Don't give up. Don't be surprised when you don't get everything right the first try. But you shouldn't stop pushing. If you feel like you are relapsing or getting too vulnerable, hold your ground until everything settles. If you do fall, get back up. And just keep on going until nothing hurts or scares you anymore.

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