AARP Love and Relationship expert Dr. Pepper Schwartz shares online dating strategies for mature women, including advice on creating an interesting dating profile.
Showing posts with label Expert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Expert. Show all posts
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Saturday, April 14, 2012
It’s Not The X Factor: Stop Treating Dating Like You’re Auditioning For An Expert Judge
Just because things don't always work out doesn't mean you have to take it personally...
‘Rejection’ within dating and relationships is widely treated like 'auditioning’ for a part and then failing to get the role. Think about this for a moment: It being treated like an audition means that someone always holds the power from the outset and your fate is being put in their hands. You have to interview, perform, demonstrate, convince – handing over all of your power in dating is like telling the other party to kick back and relax because you’re going to make all of the key effort. Based on what? They’re not God, a higher power, or that special!
What kind of expertise or power are you granting people? Which characteristics, qualities, and values are you assigning them that you can immediately or very quickly ascertain that you need to put on your costume? That they go to church? Have been in the same job for a gazillion years or are just very good at their job? They have big breasts or are well hung? Beautiful? Super-intelligent? Ph.d in People Picking? Good with animals and children? Money and status? Chemistry? Common interests? Good sense of humour?
Not one of these are reasons to demote yourself and act like you’re auditioning for a relationship.
Now you’d like to think that people who have the power to decide someone’s fate get it right every time, but yet there are a tonne of actors, authors, dancers, singers, job interviewees, successful entrepreneurs, sports stars and the list goes on, who have been rejected, and many of these have gone on to be more successful than people who they were rejected for, and many of the remainder are still trying...
View the Original article
‘Rejection’ within dating and relationships is widely treated like 'auditioning’ for a part and then failing to get the role. Think about this for a moment: It being treated like an audition means that someone always holds the power from the outset and your fate is being put in their hands. You have to interview, perform, demonstrate, convince – handing over all of your power in dating is like telling the other party to kick back and relax because you’re going to make all of the key effort. Based on what? They’re not God, a higher power, or that special!
What kind of expertise or power are you granting people? Which characteristics, qualities, and values are you assigning them that you can immediately or very quickly ascertain that you need to put on your costume? That they go to church? Have been in the same job for a gazillion years or are just very good at their job? They have big breasts or are well hung? Beautiful? Super-intelligent? Ph.d in People Picking? Good with animals and children? Money and status? Chemistry? Common interests? Good sense of humour?
Not one of these are reasons to demote yourself and act like you’re auditioning for a relationship.
Now you’d like to think that people who have the power to decide someone’s fate get it right every time, but yet there are a tonne of actors, authors, dancers, singers, job interviewees, successful entrepreneurs, sports stars and the list goes on, who have been rejected, and many of these have gone on to be more successful than people who they were rejected for, and many of the remainder are still trying...
View the Original article
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Another Advice Expert For Women
We like what we hear so far about Dr. Diana Kirschner's new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Especially since the article lists four disastrous dating patterns that women fall into.
Let's play a fun challenge and see if we can come up with four corresponding disastrous dating habits in men:
The Recluse - It corresponds to the female hermit, but the male doesn't think he'll be better off alone. No, he desperately wants a mate, but is too painfully shy to go talk to anybody. Basically the only chance he gets for a girlfriend is if a female cat burglar breaks into his apartment.
The Player - The opposite, this is a man with too much confidence, a copy of "The Art of the Pick-Up" in his pocket, and an ego which needs to constantly be fed with fresh women.
The White Knight - Mr. Nice Guy who always ends up in the friendzone. Need we say more?
The Unicorn - A roaring bore who can't shut up about how special and unique he is. So much so that he has to examine each woman with a magnifying glass and find her at fault. It's probably for the best anyway.
Did we get those right or not? Have all the ladies met at least one of each?
View the Original article
Let's play a fun challenge and see if we can come up with four corresponding disastrous dating habits in men:
The Recluse - It corresponds to the female hermit, but the male doesn't think he'll be better off alone. No, he desperately wants a mate, but is too painfully shy to go talk to anybody. Basically the only chance he gets for a girlfriend is if a female cat burglar breaks into his apartment.
The Player - The opposite, this is a man with too much confidence, a copy of "The Art of the Pick-Up" in his pocket, and an ego which needs to constantly be fed with fresh women.
The White Knight - Mr. Nice Guy who always ends up in the friendzone. Need we say more?
The Unicorn - A roaring bore who can't shut up about how special and unique he is. So much so that he has to examine each woman with a magnifying glass and find her at fault. It's probably for the best anyway.
Did we get those right or not? Have all the ladies met at least one of each?
View the Original article
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